Hiya people, how’s it been? Have you been living the life? I know I have been.
It’s been a busy past few days, but coming out of it heads up, I thought maybe we should have some laugh here, what do you think? It’d be nice, right?
Well, I’m no comedian, so I went joke hunting *winks*. So below are a couple of jokes I got from all kinda places. Enjoy …
|A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
“Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?”
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?”
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, “Um … no.”
The lawyer interrupts, “or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?”
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
“or that my sister’s husband died in a traffic accident,” the lawyer’s voice rising in indignation, “leaving her penniless with three children?!”
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, “I had no idea…”
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, “So if I don’t give any money to them, why should I give any to you?”
(Culled from coolfunnyjokes.com)
Letter to God
A little boy who wanted a $100.00 very badly, prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting $100.00. When the Postal Authorities received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.
The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy $50.00. Mr President thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to the little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $50.00 and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to God that read:
“Dear God, thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those devils’ took half of it.”
(Culled from the Kings Palace, RCCG bulletin 12.05.13)
Doctor: Have you taken my advice and slept with the window open?
Doctor: So your asthma disappeared completely?
Patient: No. But mobile phone, watch, Plasma TV and laptop have.
Doctor: I see you’re over a month’s late for your appointment. Don’t you know that nervous disorders require prompt and regular attention? What’s your excuse?
Patient: I was just following your orders, Doc.
Doctor: Following my orders? What are you talking about? I gave you no such order.
Patient: You told me to avoid people who irritate me.
(Culled from the King’s Palace, RCCG bulletin 05.05.13)