I was in my kennel, feeling all waggy and nonchalant. My fluffy, hairy tail swiped the floor in a to-and-fro cheerful manner. My tongue hung and drooled, depending on which angle I tossed it. I felt a good measure of satisfaction… in my opinion it was a really good day… woof!
A few feet away, Lemon lay in her own kennel, moaning and wailing… such a delightful sound… hmm.
My ears perked as the sound of Master’s and Mistress’s voices came even louder.
Mistress was whimpering now… she’d been whimpering since her precious Lemon flew over her head and sent her running back into the house in a shrieking retreat.
“You are shouting about your own clothes? What about mine?” Her whimpy screech came through the window of their bedroom.
“I am not shouting.” Master yelled.
oh yes, you are.
“I just had my best shirts torn and shredded in unrecognisable pieces by your goddamn, troublemaking cat.”
That’s it, Master, you got the drift.
“What about my really expensive, top quality silk and chiffon blouses and shirts which were destroyed by your hideous-looking, gang-leading dog?”
Gang-leading… yeah! But hideous-looking, I don’t think so.
“I’ve had enough of that cat.” Master thundered now. “She’d been trouble from the moment she stepped into this house.”
That’s right, Master, you got it all figured out… finally.
“She was doing just fine while we were both back home.” Mistress shrieked.
Then I suggest you both get back home! And leave us in ours.
“This is all your fault.”
The whining blame was from Lemon. I turned my head in the direction of her kennel.
“You started it… tearing up all my Mistress’s clothes without even the least respect.” She whined and wailed.
“I tore up your Mistress’s clothes as a sign of warning to her never again to touch my bone collection.” I growled thumping my tail on the floor.
“Well, your warning has got your Master and my Mistress quarrelling.” Lemon wailed. “And has gotten us locked up in our kennels.”
“Oh no, dear sister Lemon,” I growled in a taunting tone. “It’s actually your high-fly display that got us both locked up. You scared the sanity out of your Mistress by flying over her nicely-coiffed hair, that is why we are here.”
“If you hadn’t threatened her, I wouldn’t have tried to defend her by flying over to your side.” Lemon’s tone was not wailing anymore.
“Threatened her?” I gave a bark of laughter. “I can’t threaten her. She might be your Mistress and really very annoying but I could never threaten or hurt her… she’s Master’s wife and as the Alpha dog, I have to protect all his interests.”
“But you advanced her menacingly.” Lemon argued her tone rising. “You growled at her.”
“I growl all the time… I’m a dog… silly.” I growled now just for effect. “And you wail, whine and moan all the time because you are just a treacherous, interfering little cat.”
“You growl because you are an over-hairy, ugly, dirty, disgusting, evil dog who is so threatened by a little cat.” Lemon howled at me, hissing menacingly.
“You still dare me?” I snarled baring my teeth. “You want me to finally kill you?
“I’m a cat… I got nine lives.” Lemon taunted.
I growled wildly, pushing to my feet and scratching angrily the wooden door of my kennel.
“Will the two of you SHUT UP!” Master thundered from the bedroom.
The deep snarling vibration of his voice sent me instantly back on my tummy and had Lemon wailing and whining again… the damned cat!