So I made a post about people, especially ladies, complaining about not having found the one on ‘dont-be-so-choosy‘ and someone called me up and complained about being in the friend-zone with this guy and needing to get out of there.
That got me thinking and I decided to put up a relationship talk section here on the blog… was actually saving it for lifeandspices.com but what da heck, right? Lol.
So, following that little question, I made some research and voila, I came up with these top five ways to get you going from his girl friend to his girlfriend… nice change, huh?
So here goes…
- Stop being His Gal Friday…
Frankly, I chose this one as a first because that’s how you got locked in that position in the first place.
Yeah, it’s all nice being his best friend and playing buddy-buddy. But unless you want that to be the case forever, you have to take a step back from being his best-buddy in female-form and start aiming for that coveted girlfriend slot.
So stop playing his kid sister or even honorary big sister. And stop playing mother too and take a step back from being just one of the guys.
- Look like a girl
Now I know you are going to cry out… “I am a girl!” Easy girlfriend. I know you are a girl. You know you are a girl. He knows you are a girl. But does he see you as a girl? Aha! Now you are getting it, right?
Time to throw aside all that comfortable, easy-to-move-around clothes you’ve been parading in and get some hawt look. Mmm hmm. Jeans and T-shirts are for hanging out with pals… he‘s about to become more than a pal. So? Dress to impress. Change that usual hairstyle, get new figure-highlighting clothes, wear some make-up… look glam and while you are at, don’t be stingy on spending on that new bottle of perfume. Be subtly sexy.
- Become that dream girl and more
Now it’s very likely that during all your buddy-buddy days together, he’s been filling your ears with what his kind of girl is. Now this is what I like to call the home-advantage. Use it!
This surely follows as you are recreating the new you. Don’t lose yourself altogether, but be sure to add something of the kind of girl look he so dreams of. Show him you can be that girl and even more.
Merge the very best of you as his best girl and the little niceties of his dream girl… and come out smelling like roses.
- Flirt with him
It’s time for the real work. Uh hmm. Now that he’s seeing you differently, believe me, he’s gonna be a little bit confused. So, help him out. Show him what you want.
Now I don’t mean – throw yourself all over him and go all smoochy and touchy. Heck no! Transition from girl friend into girlfriend is going to take a little time, so ease into it.
Start off with the little things – eye contact – holding his gaze differently, tease him with flirtatious language, touch him in light flirtatious manner. Start inviting him out to date-like functions… just the two of you. Learn to start holding hands… rightly. Give him those girly nice signs.
- Be open
So he’s getting all these signs and he’s showing signs of liking what he’s seeing. Well, don’t just stop there. Because I hate to say this but… men, can at times be really clueless.
You’ve shown him, now tell him. This is especially a requirement if you are sensing that he likes you too but is maybe too wary to make a move. Don’t go overboard and be all romantic… you are not about to propose to him… Please! No dinner dates for this talk. Just a simple alone time, and be simple, straight to the point honest.
Now, these are not magic steps. And they don’t work like miracles either. So it’s important you know that just because you want things a little different doesn’t mean he has to too.
You might do all these him and he might not still be interested in anything more than friendship with you. Don’t beat yourself up or hate yourself or be ashamed. This is a chance you got to take.
But if you tell him, and he feels absolutely the same, then break out the champagne bottle and flutes and celebrate.
However it pans out… my take is if you have been friend-zoned and you don’t care for that position, girl friend, it’s time you did something about it.
***Now guys, don’t be jealous. On Wednesday, I just might share how you too can get that “he’s just my boy friend into He’s my boyfriend”… See y’all Tuesday for Operation Stop The Wedding***