I feel like this donkey in the attached photo above… bearing burdens that are too heavy for me to carry.
The sad thing here is that I willingly strapped these burdens to my back. But I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.
Dear people, yesterday — and not for the first time — I had severe eye pains that I had to take drugs and repeat dosage indiscriminately, just so I can get some relief. I didn’t. I went to bed with that pain. I woke late this morning with same pain. And I just knew I had to ease back.
I have an eye condition called open-angle glaucoma. I am permanently on an eye-drop medication. But despite the medication, I suffer constant migraines and severe eye pains, mostly due to exposure to screen lights such as computers, handsets and even television. And in the last two weeks I have been over-exposed to my laptop screen, all in my bid to meet up with the FBFW and UP deadlines. And in that two weeks I have taken more drugs than I’ve had to in three months. I can’t go on like this.
I will end up blind this way. As I am writing this — which I must — my left eye is throbbing with pain.
Dear readers and followers, I need patience. These are the only eyes I’ve got and I can’t trade them for all the American dollars in the world, NO! I am here to let you know, as my friends and e-family, that I will finish FBFW and UP and all other works I have planned, but only one at a time and at a sedate, less painful and more acceptable pace. I crave your indulgence… if I have to. But if I don’t take a couple of days off, my left eye will start secreting pus. It is that bad. This morning I woke up not only with the eye pain but with dried pus blocking my vision.
I will, from now on, write at an acceptable pace and take due breaks as often as I need. This whole thing is made more cumbersome because I still have to maintain the blog. I am even considering taking a break from blogging for a month. But maybe I need not do that. Maybe I just have to completely limit what I put in on the blog and how much writing I do at a time.
It might also be required that I take a break from the blog, at some point. As writing two stories at a time is a somewhat distracting for me — Convincing Cate and For better, For worse. I have to think this and think that. I have to research for this and do research for another. It’s a bit much.
For now, Take me as I am… seriously. Take whatever I can give and let there be no complaints. I need understanding and I need patience.
When each book is completed, reviewed and edited, I will announce it for publication and purchase. I request that no one, please no one, put me under pressure about this. I have too many things going on in other aspects of my life and I can’t carry this heavy burden anymore.
I thank you for your understanding… I hope I have it.