Too Much!

too much

I feel like this donkey in the attached photo above… bearing burdens that are too heavy for me to carry.

The sad thing here is that I willingly strapped these burdens to my back. But I can’t do this. I thought I could, but I can’t.

Dear people, yesterday — and not for the first time — I had severe eye pains that I had to take drugs and repeat dosage indiscriminately, just so I can get some relief. I didn’t. I went to bed with that pain. I woke late this morning with same pain. And I just knew I had to ease back.

I have an eye condition called open-angle glaucoma. I am permanently on an eye-drop medication. But despite the medication, I suffer constant migraines and severe eye pains, mostly due to exposure to screen lights such as computers, handsets and even television. And in the last two weeks I have been over-exposed to my laptop screen, all in my bid to meet up with the FBFW and UP deadlines. And in that two weeks I have taken more drugs than I’ve had to in three months. I can’t go on like this.

I will end up blind this way. As I am writing this — which I must — my left eye is throbbing with pain.

Dear readers and followers, I need patience. These are the only eyes I’ve got and I can’t trade them for all the American dollars in the world, NO! I am here to let you know, as my friends and e-family, that I will finish FBFW and UP and all other works I have planned, but only one at a time and at a sedate, less painful and more acceptable pace. I crave your indulgence… if I have to. But if I don’t take a couple of days off, my left eye will start secreting pus. It is that bad. This morning I woke up not only with the eye pain but with dried pus blocking my vision.

I will, from now on, write at an acceptable pace and take due breaks as often as I need. This whole thing is made more cumbersome because I still have to maintain the blog. I am even considering taking a break from blogging for a month. But maybe I need not do that. Maybe I just have to completely limit what I put in on the blog and how much writing I do at a time.

It might also be required that I take a break from the blog, at some point. As writing two stories at a time is a somewhat distracting for me — Convincing Cate and For better, For worse. I have to think this and think that. I have to research for this and do research for another. It’s a bit much.

For now, Take me as I am… seriously. Take whatever I can give and let there be no complaints. I need understanding and I need patience.

When each book is completed, reviewed and edited, I will announce it for publication and purchase. I request that no one, please no one, put me under pressure about this. I have too many things going on in other aspects of my life and I can’t carry this heavy burden anymore.

I thank you for your understanding… I hope I have it.

God bless,

TM.

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48 thoughts on “Too Much!

  1. good morning dearie, sorry for the stress. how is ur health now? its well with u, will remember u in my prayers. please take a break ur health is more important than anything/anybody. I will always visit ur blog u ve carved a niche for yourself through ur previous stories and try to work at a pace that is convenient for u n ur family. Balm of gilead wil work for u n ur desires wil be granted. shalom

    • I am feeling somewhat better. Rested most of yesterday and only wrote on a book. Will not begin typing until Tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers. *Kisses*

  2. I’m so so sorry about this, I’m completely speechless, in the short while I’ve started visiting this blog, I’ve realised how much efforts you put in for our delights.. do pls take all the time you need and we will still be here when you get back. I pray God lay his healing hands on you. You are one strong woman and God shall continually renew your strength

    • Thanks Jvsh. Your words mean so much. All of you being here for me, means a whole lot. I am promising not to overdo it anymore. Easy does it, is my new work slogan. Lol

  3. Hmmmm, there is nothing most frustrating than a bad eyesight, just take it slow and steady, i dont think there is anyone of us here who would want to put pressure on u. Or of what use would ur dishing out more goodies to us at the expense of ur health? We certainly need u here to put smiles on our faces buh not in a bad shape, so please take time off and take good care of urself, ofcourse u ll always be in ma prayers

    • *Hugs Jeanfortune* Truly, as far as I’m concerned the very worst thing to hit me as a writer is my poor sight. The next would be the epileptic Power supply in this country. Still, I’m grateful and I’m slowing down now. Thanks dearie

  4. Oh oh!!!…… I know exactly How you feel TM the pain and Maigrain…..just show your roll OK….we’re not going anywhere… we are here for you!

  5. Take all the time you need. I will definitely be here when you get back.

    We command wholeness to your eyes. May the healing hand of God rest upon you. Good Bless you too.

  6. so sorry. take all the time you need. we will still be definitely here. thanks so much for always giving us a chance to read your wonderful works and for all the lessons, the wise jokes , the words on marble et all. God heal you. take your time. God bless. thanks.

  7. Please take all the time you need. Thanks a lot for going to such lengths to satisfy your fans. But we need you to be strong n healthy. So take all the time you need, manage the POAG the best you can. It is well with you dear.

  8. My darling TM. take it easy dearie. You sight and general health is very important.

    I am most grateful for the effort you put into the stories i read here, it cant be easy, they are exceptional.

    God be with you, you are in my prayers.

    Take it easy.

  9. Am really sorry to hear abt that if I say I feel your pain that’s. A lie cos only you knw whr ur shoes pinches you but never the less take all the time u nid cos eyes is the lamp of the body divine healing be yours in jesus name

    • Hmm, ophthalmic nusring, what does that entail really? I’d like to interview you. Have one of my heroines be an ophthalmic nurse and create a doctor/nurse Romance. Hehehe. I swear when I hear things I’m not familiar with, I think a storyline. No worries, lovey, I’ll take care, I promise. *muah*

    • Lol. Seriously this cracked me up. I feel like I’d just been reprimanded by a doctor. Anyway, will try not to. Tis why I’ve got to rest my eyes more.

  10. Please dear i need you to be in good condition. Your health and well being first. Do take a break. I will still be here when you return. God be with you.

    • Kisses dear Mariemummy, glad to know you’all will be here no matter what. I’m taking a break. Didn’t near the screen yesterday until evening. I’m going to pace myself now. No more over-doing it. Thanks dear

  11. Ma’am,ur health is paramount as others have said,I do understand to an extent how you feel,take a break,give rest to ur eyes and probably make use of eye glasses when u need to stay close to a screen,I think it will help…..be good and will be waiting till you are ready!

    • Thanks Doyinsola. And trust me I’m never without my glasses… can’t see myself without them… Lol, #just kidding, it’s not that bad. But I’m always on glasses. Always.

  12. Sorry dear…please take all the time you need..your health is the most important..we your audience will always be here whenever you’re up to it…take care dear

  13. I’m a ghost-reader and this will be my first comment on your blog. Confession? #smiles. You’re doing a great job and sincerely, you’ve got my patronage as soon as you publish. Please take adequate care of your sight! As a MO, I’d have advised you went off screens (laptops, phones etc) for at least 2 weeks but you know better. To keep your plot/ideas ‘patent’ get to speak to a recorder i.e. Speak and record what you plan to write as ideas flow. Except for sms and mails, pls don’t return to writing or reading from the screen till after 2 weeks. I know what impaired sight means. The Lord will perfect your healing.

    • Thanks for the advice, Enioto. But I already broke it, just now. Lol. I took a two-day break and thought it sufficient. I’ll rest more after your advice. I’m already using a notepad and that helps for now. When I start making the big bucks from my writing, I’ll surely hire a Secretary to do my typing. Thanks dear, I’ll take your advice to heart… will rest as much as I can.

  14. You definitely do have my understanding. Pls take all the time you need and perhaps you need to cut back on typing all those long post on your phone.
    I’m short sighted and sometimes i get irritations that hurt alot. I can only imagine what glaucoma feels like. Pls do take care of yourself ™

    • Dear Sheedart, I’ve long banned phone entries but even via laptop it’s still a trial at times. I’m easing back though and doing what I can at a comfortable pace. Thanks, dear

  15. So so sorry you are going through all that TM. Though I’ve bn away from the blog bcos of clarion call but hope you are getting better now?
    Take your time and rest a lot…..we will wait
    God got your back. Take care

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